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American “airs”

Today I felt like I wanted to write about the American “airs”, just in case there is somebody left out there who still believes this is something you can’t find in this part of the world. Well, the American “airs” have an important percent of participation in the daily life, even if the mortals are impressed very little or at all by pretentiousness. But the “airs” manage to manifest themselves pretty often in different manners and styles and I cannot but make it subject of my reflections and observations about life.

The “Lexus” obsession! In the parking lot of my school there are about 30 Lexuses every morning. Well, parents with large pockets and even larger egos, nicely align their precious cars in a long, boring and unoriginal display, as unoriginal as a cold in the winter time. Why? I asked to myself. If I had to purchase a big money car right now, I swear (cross my heart-kiss my elbow!), it wouldn’t  be a Lexus. The sedan makes me think of the golden-agers and the SUV really pisses me off with its aerodynamic little spoiler and the way they are everywhere up to the level of extremely annoyance.  And no, I’m not jealous!

If I put “a lot of money” and “car” together, I’d have enough to think of a BMW, an Audi, a VW or even of a Mercedes, if it is from the original mercedesian country. But the lexusers know their own business. It’s a sort of a social condition that enables them put their noses up in the air and feel like they breath a different, more impurities-free type of ozone…

Another “must have” are the dental braces for kids. I don’t want to be mean or manifest any ignorance to the subject but, when in a class of 13 kids 8 of them wear braces, you just cannot stop for a second and ask yourself what’s the whole thing about. If they were one or two hundred dollars, you would say, oh, well, why not? I take my hat off in front of a good Mom who wants her kid’s teeth to be all straight and in place. But when you find out that parents take out up to 10 grand from their pockets for the luxury accessory, you look like a fool into the kid’s mouth and ask yourself what exactly is there wrong that must be fixed for that much money? You find out soon, that it is actually about a tooth somewhere in the back of the mouth, slightly veering towards something I would call normality. But what wouldn’t a mother do for a 10 thousand dollar smile?

I go to the gym. Sometimes everyday, sometimes I let months pass by without going. But, no matter when I go or how often, they are there. The divas! Beautiful, blond, athletic, wearing nothing but a little top barely covering voluptuous breasts and tiny  shorts, as well stretched on their heinie in such a way that would let half of the buttocks out and, even more important, would reveal at least a small portion of the thong, graciously matching the sneakers. These girls are pure magic. They don’t perspire at all, their coiffures stay the same, mascara doesn’t run down their faces, the gloss doesn’t wipe out, they finish their gym session, fresh and put together as for an event with a red carpet.

I decided to find out why I always come out of there looking like I had just plowed the field for an entire day, and they don’t. First the divas walk around in search for some strong, muscle males and then they start their warm up exercises that, between you and me, don’t look anywhere close to the ones preceding Mr. Heisman’s training sessions in my highschool PE classes. Widely open legs, breasts pushed out, noisily gum chewing so the jaws get stretched and attention caught. When eventually this occurs,the divas, climb up  treadmills where they take iphones and blackberries out of vuitons and call their friends to tell them that, oh my, they are at the gym which is, you know, quite boring. They laugh out loud, very out and very loud, and set up weekend plans while skillfully making gum bubbles. All this time there are these poor “plowers” waiting in a line to get to a machine where they can truly and sincerely sweat. Divas finally finish their phone calls and realize they need something to read while exercising their bodies and minds so they stepout of the treadmill in search of a tabloid somewhere in that little shelter with magazines forgotten or tossed aside by other divas. On their way back to the “occupied” machine they left a while ago, they remember about other plans and other phone calls they need to make, and these all last as long as my session, from which I come out looking beat and they come out looking like winners. Over points and calories.

Grocery stores. I don’t really like these places, the common, American grocery stores, as I am not satisfied with what I can find there. The bread is sour but nobody minds it. The sourer it is the prouder the consumers are.  Nobody can tell why they eat sour bread, they just know it’s sourdough and that’s…for good! Mustard is sweet, salamis have no taste, or at least not the taste I know and I brought with me from far away places, you can’t find parsnip, tomatoes are savorless and watery and peaches go rotten 3 hours after you purchased them.

And these places are all over.

I wanna say low prices are responsible for the poor quality, but I can’t. Because prices are not low. But even so, I am there thinking, maybe higher prices would raise quality? I found some high level places with “organic” spread all over the store, where food is healthy, no doubt. Is it also good? Ah, this I can doubt! The whole store is populated with ladies full of self importance, wrapped in even more important suits, getting out off their luxury cars to buy the organic yoghurt meant to improve their sensitive digestion and image in the corporate world. I totally admit, peaches at this store  smell like peaches and seem not to capitulate 3 hours after they were moved from the shelf. But even so, there was something not right with that place – the feeling that you pay a lot of money for something that should normally cost even half of the regular price.  And, also, I just don’t like those places where people ask to sample 7 different types of cheese 10 times because they just can’t decide which one is the one that would mostly go along with their mood that night, while 5 other  people are waiting in a line behind. When this happens I feel such an urge to find some normal people. So I found normal grocery stores in normal neighborhoods where people drive normal cars and the bread is normal and…good, oh! so good, and it smells like the oven, no matter if it is baked by Hispanics or Asians or anybody else. And where fruit and vegetables are fresh and yummy even if they are not polished and nicely aligned, even if they have flaws and spots and you have to search for the one you like in the pile. And no woman leaves the store pouting because she was not asked whether she wanted “the ball boy” of the store to carry her yoghurt and fancy cheese to the convertible.

4 Comments

  1. ELF says:

    Excelenta descriere a celor cu buzunarele doldora de bani si a mofturilor pe care si le permit. Fitele de acolo, de aici, de peste tot , fac deliciu” lumii bune ” , al lumii cu bani, al nesimtirii si arogantei, al destrabalarii si meschinariei, Sincer lumea normala ramane universul meu si nu a-si schimba-o niciodata , nici pentru o experienta de moment, pentru ca m-asi simti mutilat sufleteste
    ALF

  2. Elena says:

    Just discovered your blog. Although I read it cursorily, I wanted to point out something about wearing braces. I am an adult wearing braces to close 4 spaces from previously extracted molars in Romania. The teeth shifted and while they were straight, the shifting affected my bite. I would get diffuse pain that needed to be addressed. My dental insurance paid for a big part of the cost. Dental insurance covers ortho for children at close to 100%. Those parents may not really shell out thousands of money :) I know I didn’t.

    1. Bobiţa says:

      Elena, I don’t know where you live but in California dental braces can go up to 10k, especially invisalign treatments which are expensive, with about $500 insurance coverage. It, of course, depends on the area, orthodontist, and how fancy you want to go. Anyway, I was not trying to be argumentative, I just wanted to point out this “toddler and tiaras” parental obsession. I am aware there are serious dental issues that require braces both in children and adults (I have been encouraging my husband to get braces :) Thank you for reading my blog!

  3. Elena says:

    Forgot to add, braces are no where near $10000! :)

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